…first it will either piss you off or scare the crap out of you. (Really!)
Here’s the thing. I wanted to write a post called “Why Wait?”. I wanted to ask what is it we’re waiting for in order to set New Year’s Resolutions when we all know life begins today? We (yes you and I) get all excited about what we’re GOING TO (future tense) do when New Year / Monday / Next week rolls around. I wanted to write about how ridiculous a New Year’s Resolution actually is and why is it we set them when we know this. The thing I realised is that I couldn’t write about such a topic without talking about truth.
As you know if you’ve been following my work for a while, I’m a little obsessed about understanding human behaviour. As I’m not away on holiday this festive season I’ve had a lot of time to read, to ride, to think and to contemplate 2020. It’s a new decade. What’s going to be different I’ve been asking. And whilst I’m not in control of life and life usually does change, it often doesn’t unless we do.
In researching, understanding and experiencing behaviour change, there’s one thing there never ceases to surprise me and that is that very rarely does purely changing behaviour, change behaviour. Typically we see things we don’t like in our lives and we set about changing it. E.g. want to lose weight = go on a diet. Seems logical so we do it but because we haven’t uncovered the truth, we don’t sustain the change.
I’ve had alot of truth to uncover these holidays and things I didn’t want to face or acknowledge. Facing the truth WILL set you free but it will also scare the crap out of you and that’s a good thing. Trust me because that’s how change is sustained. Otherwise it’s just surface level lip service which doesn’t last. Because it scares the crap out of you (and by crap I mean the stuff holding you back) it’s not done by many and not the typical means of approach.
Do me, no actually don’t do anything for me. Do yourself a favour; go to the mirror or just take a journal and ask yourself these questions;
- Am I happy with things in my life? If not, what exactly am I not happy with?
- Where am I in a comfort zone?
- What are the faulty beliefs I have in this area / to do with this subject that may be blocking me?
- Have I tried to change these things before? If so, what exactly have I tried?
- What am I honestly not prepared to let go of and have to own? E.g. don’t hate yourself for something like smoking if you’re not prepared to give it up.
- Are there certain behaviours that leave me feeling down, defeated or disappointed in myself? If so what are the reasons I do them?
- Where do I have to take ownership of the ‘crap’ that went down this year with others?
- What am I afraid of?
- Where am I being untrue to myself or others?
- Who am I angry at? What are they reflecting back to me?
- What are my defence mechanisms with others?
- What are my defence mechanisms with myself?
And then the key question….
What is I really REALLY want?
I did this exercise a couple of days ago and to be honest owning what I wanted, made me scared. What if I don’t get it? What if I never get there?
Yes Lisa and so what? Do you want to live a life in safety instead? Not really taking steps to what you want? It’s NOT an option for me.
The reality is that trying to initiate any kind of behaviour change or desired outcome with no introspection pretty much leads to Feeling-sorry-for-myself lane. It also leads to guilt and the BS belief that’s all that’s needed is more willpower. #bullshit
So Cut the Crap. Own your Truth. Start Now. If you fall, which you will, get up and keep going. Celebrate victories. Repeat.
Happy 2020 and may you be surprised and delighted by life and yourself each and every day!
I’m with you all the way! And if you feel like it, drop me a mail and let me know how it’s going.