You CAN change. But ONLY if you want to | Lisa Steingold

You CAN change, if you REALLY want to

Rumi quote on changing oneself
You CAN change you but only if you really want to and are prepared to do the work.

Table of Contents

You CAN change. But only if you really want to. 

They say people don’t change but it just isn’t true. They do. Including you. 

People only change if THEY want to (Including you)

I say this to you to bring you peace, not to upset your day;

People ONLY change if they want to. Not because you want them to. 

This is a cold hard fact that many of us battle to accept at certain times in our lives. But there’s a reason the greats like Rumi, Ghandi and Tolstoy all arrived at the same conclusion;

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Be the change quote Lisa Steingold

Reasons people don’t change

People don’t change for a variety of reasons including;

  • Lack of support or resources
  • Fear of change
  • Insufficient commitment
  • Can’t clearly see the reward and benefit of changing
  • Or because we/they simply lack the desire to change

“Our sense of safety is all wound up in the way things are and the way that we are.  Any change, destabilizes this sense of safety and security.  It completely messes with our sense of control.” (Teal Swan)

Often having to change leaves us feeling vulnerable. Why would we change when it would mean feeling vulnerable and even out of control?

Newton’s law of inertia states that an object in motion will remain in motion unless an unplanned force acts upon it and that is exactly what happens.

If you notice, most people seem to change after a dramatic life, for instance; the death of a loved one, serious illness, loss of a job, moving to another country or a divorce or loss of a relationship.

Yes now and then someone does some self reflection and exercises in self awareness and makes a change. But it isn’t the norm. 

Bottom line? If you’re waiting for someone to change, you’re in the wrong station friend and probably waiting for a train that’s never going to arrive. 

If you want to change, know this

Change takes time. It takes renewed daily commitment. 

And you will fall. 

How to change yourself quote Leo Tolstoy

How to change?

Ok you want to change. Great. Now what?

Firsty how do you know you want to change? Have you been brutally honest with yourself? Or is this simply some passing phase?

The first thing is identifying what change is needed; is that habits need changing or is it something deeper?

You can change habits

Changing habits is challenging but it’s not impossible. Start simply by making your bed in the morning.

Or by adopting one simple habit in your day. And you’ll be surprised by the spillover effect. 

Or your can be the change

Changing your state of being is far simpler yet more complex.

Let’s get something straight first. You will probably never change the essence of your being. There will be some part of you that is always uniquely you. BUT your state of being / our state of being is far more pliable than we might imagine. 

For example; think you’re not a social person? It’s perhaps just because you haven’t practiced. That’s not to say you’re going to become an extreme extrovert overnight but it’s also not to say your social life is doomed forever.

You can practice being

  • peaceful with meditation
  • social by going out and talking to people
  • sporty simply by taking up sport

Things like going to a therapist, meditation and exercise, whilst they take time, encourage true and profound change in one’s state of being. 

Too often we give ourselves labels which are simply not true because we’ve told ourselves a story about what is not possible. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s never too late!

lisa-signature (2)

Share the Post:

Related Posts