There will be times in your life when you are pushed to rock bottom. Sometimes things don’t work out, and you get frustrated or sad, but rock bottom is a different kind of feeling.
Eminem described rock bottom as “when you feel like you’ve had it up to here ‘cause you mad enough to scream, but sad enough to tear.”
My rock bottom was a culmination of a number of things, including work, relationships, and health. It felt like everything hit at once, like a giant tsunami from which I just couldn’t surface.
I got Covid, badly. I got diagnosed with arthritis of the knee and often couldn’t sleep because of the pain (this despite being super fit and healthy, and in my 40’s). I got passed over for a promotion. And suddenly there I was with a mound of heartbreak I just couldn’t shake from a past relationship.
One minute I was fine. I was Ms dynamic, cycling hundreds of kilometres, taking on any challenge…and then suddenly I wasn’t.
I’d been in love with a man for five years and had to come to the realisation that it wasn’t the same from his side. It’s tough to admit you’ve been lying to yourself for years.
I knew it was rock bottom because, well you just know. I think there are defining moments in our lives and I knew this was one of them. There would be no going forward in the same manner. I couldn’t focus on my work, I couldn’t sleep, and I was eating more than I usually did. A Lot more.
Something had to change; I had to change.
I had to find ways to move through the darkness. I did and I want to tell you that if you’re reading this and wondering how you’ll ever find your way out the other side, you will too!
Yes, this is rock bottom.
Welcome. But don’t unpack because you’re not here to stay!
How to Move through Rock Bottom and Darkness?
Get help
If you were drowning, you’d happily accept help from a lifeguard to get you back to shore. Rock bottom is no different and a lifeguard is exactly what’s called for. If you can afford it, a therapist is likely to be the best investment you’ll ever make.
A great therapist won’t only help you move through the pain and trauma of where you are but they’ll help you understand how you got there in the first place and ways you can move forward.
If you can’t afford a therapist there are loads of books and online resources which will go a long way to helping you transition more swiftly. Or simply consult the mother of therapy; mother nature herself by spending some time in nature daily.
A word of caution regarding friends and family. Whilst they can support you in times of need, let them love you but don’t make them your therapists; firstly they’re not qualified, secondly they’re subjective and lastly it’s simply not their job.
Instead get yourself a journal and start with someone qualified in the art of transition. Whilst you may not feel like it now, that’s what rock bottom truly is; a transition to a better way of being.
Take ‘that’ step – the seemingly impossible one
The thing to remember about hitting rock bottom is that it’s life’s way of helping you shift course; a kind of redirect if you will. Like when you’re looking for directions on your phone but miss a turning and Google helps you out by redirecting and finding a better route.
Embracing the change and challenge of redirecting, 1 step at a time will yield greater reward than you can possibly imagine.
It can seem overwhelming and impossible but trust that there’s some part of you who’s got this and knows the way.
In my rock bottom, amongst sessions with my therapist, I became a master of lists and each day I made it my mission to do just one thing that took me forward into my future.
It took all of the courage I could harness in my body, mind, heart and soul to be brave enough to just imagine a new course, nevermind chart one. In the beginning it all felt so overwhelming but as I started achieving small tasks, things started to feel more ‘possible’.
Your circumstances may be entirely different; you may have lost a loved one, or a job you loved, or perhaps have encountered severe financial setback. As such your steps may be different; perhaps your one step is going to a walk in nature or getting help or putting your business into business rescue. Whatever your step, trust you have everything you need to take it.
“Your ability to fly is in direct proportion to your willingness and courage to face your version of rock bottom” ~ Dailygreatness
Start a practice
Life at rock bottom can be excruciating. When you open your eyes in the morning during the darkest days of your life, the thing you’re most likely to think is I can’t believe I’m still here or perhaps why am I here?
That thought alone is enough to set you off in a downward spiral but this is exactly the time you need to commit to yourself. Out of all the times in your life, this is the time to back yourself.
Do 1 thing that’s going to shift your energy. And do it EVERY day. Read that again – do it EVERY day!
At the time of my rock bottom experiencing a number of health challenges, I couldn’t solve my stress in the manner I usually would; by physical training. I knew however if I let go of physical activity altogether that both my physical and mental health would continue to decline. So I did a half hour of walking or yoga every morning, after which I’d take a minute-long cold shower.
I’d say to myself “Lisa you can be sad again in half an hour but for now, these thirty minutes, we’re just going to breathe and listen to music”.
Mostly I never felt like doing it when I woke up in the morning but just doing the half hour would give me enough positive energy to tackle my ‘one important task’ I wanted to do during the day.
The minute cold shower took my breath away and reminded me that I still had many moments to come which were going to take my breath away in the best way possible.
At the end of my morning practice, I’d say to myself “I’m rising again and I have faith in my abilities”.
I didn’t believe it in the beginning. Lisa, I’d think, that’s just new age BS but as time wore on and I was doing my daily practice and ticking off one item each day, I started feeling better. I started to see that I could have faith in my abilities. And myself!
PS I also added a daily song to get my head in the game. Thank you Kate Bush for ‘running up that hill’! It really got me through the toughest days!
The only way is up!
“Rock bottom will teach you lessons the mountain tops never could!” Steve Winroad
She can be a ruthless teacher but many a best selling author, successful entrepreneur or musician’s work has been born from this desolate place.
It’s not a cliche when I tell you the only way is up. If you’re prepared to face the hard truths. be entirely honest with yourself and embark on a new course, the only way is up!
At my rock bottom, I was angry. I wanted to blame life… but the blame kept tripping me up because it kept me a victim of circumstance. My personal power lay in accepting things as they were, accepting my part in them and moving forward from there.
If I wanted to create a different future, I’d have to be different.
As I had the good fortune of not being as energetic as usual, I had a lot more time to breathe, to think and to start imagining what I really wanted. As a result I finished writing my novel and focusing on the financial steps I wanted to take in order to manage my money better.
It wasn’t all sunshine and rosy and it certainly was a process but it made me realise that Poor Bear was indeed right;
You’re stronger than you think.
Remember that in your darkest days and remember that this is rock bottom but don’t unpack because you’re not here to stay.
