No one ever talks about how to adult. And they should. We should at least get classes on this at school or something.
Maybe I’ve been thinking about this because I’ve just bought a house. Who knows.
But first what EXACTLY does it mean to adult?
To take responsibility for yourself and your actions in the world.
Okay but why do we have to adult?
The thing is that life can be a hard school of knocks. But the point is not to make it harder for yourself. (Which ironically most of us do).
So the bottom line is that ironically the more you can responsibility for your own stuff (emotions included) the more you will be able to let go and have fun. And just to live life to it’s fullest.
Of course, as with most things, this can be taken to the extreme.
Adulting doesn’t mean;
- Overworking
- Spending all your time on your computer or mobile
- Living in a state of constant stress
- And it certainly doesn’t mean trying to be perfect.
It’s just about getting your crap together enough so that you can live a life you enjoy.
What you’ve got to take care of as an adult?
Adulting means there’s a lot you need to take care of while still leaving time to watch Valeria, The Bridgertons and MotoGP of course.
I’m going to give the bare minimum checklist.
As an adult you need;
- A home or somewhere to live
- Transport
- Work or some source of income
- A bank account
- Insurance for the home/car
- Life insurance if you owe a large debt like a homeload so if you pass away or get sick, your family won’t be left to carry the load.
- To take care of your physical health
- Relationships or at the very least social engagement
- Emotional wellbeing or a means to take care of your emotional wellbeing
Let’s cover some of the essentials. I’ll also share my essential checklist.
The 5 pillars of Adulting
1. Home, finances and taxes
The bottom line (excuse the pun) is you need money to survive. I’m sorry I haven’t figured out a way around this. You want stuff, you’ve got to buy it.
This means you need to manage your money like a fucking grownup. Some baseline concepts;
- Income – you need some to buy the stuff you want/need.
- Taxes – this is money you will pay to the government for roads, government services and politicians.
- Home (also known on documents as Domicilium, the Latin term for dwelling) – you will need one which means you will either rent or buy. If you buy, unless you inherited or have made a ton of money, you will need a mortgage.
2. Physical wellbeing
Your body will carry you through your life and depending on how you treat it, it will carry you well. I’m not here to lecture you on how to eat and exercise but just that there are a few simple things you may want to bear in mind to keep healthy.
- Exercise – Do some. Even if it’s just a couple times a week of walking. My best go-to guru for this is Dan Go.
- Nutrition – Get some. Dad, this means a few green things every now and then. How you wish to structure your diet; paleo, intermittent fasting, vegan etc. is up to you. Personally I’m more of a fan of balance. Make sure you get some fresh fruit and veg and go easy on the alcohol. Follow Jessice Sepel for some great recipes.
- Smoking – Negatory. This you already know.
- Sleep – Please sleep! 7-8 hours a day. You need it more than you know and if you don’t believe me than you think.
Also you’ll probably want to do that annual dental and medical check. And even if you don’t it’s probably worth it in the long term.
3. Emotional wellbeing
As an adult, one of the greatest things you can do for yourself and your fellow humans is to realize how to recognise and manage your emotions. This means a level of self-awareness.
I think every person should go for therapy but if that isn’t an option financially, at least start your own journey of self-development with journaling, meditation and even just reading books like any one of these;
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
- Learning to Love Lisa (yup, that one’s mine)
4. Relationships – this is optional but also not
If you want to be able to lead a truly rich and rewarding life then you will need to take care of your relationships; all kinds.
- An intimate relationship
- Work relationships
- Parenting
- Familial relationships
- And last but not least, the relationship with yourself. Your personal wellbeing is the key to all relationships.
People say relationships are difficult but they’re actually not. It’s pretty simple;
- Be authentic
- Listen to others
- Share how you really feel
- Have boundaries
- Have values
This isn’t a to-do list. This are skills that you can learn in a day and that will take a lifetime to perfect. Be patient with yourself.
5. Work and organization
Okay so unless you were born with UBER wealthy folks who left you a ton of money, you’re probably going to have to work. And if you’re going to work, it’s going to take a chunk of your time. This means you’re going to have to learn how to organize your time so you can get everything done AND still have time to do the stuff you love!
Other stuff that no one tells you about
There are things about being an adult that no one tells you about. Things like washing dishes and house work. It’s amazing how quickly they pile up!
Trust me here that your biggest blessing will be to outsource where possible. Even if it is to a dishwasher.
Warning – Adulting comes with side effects
Here’s a warning that no one tells you about. Adulting can be hazardous to your health!
Adulting may cause anxiety. And sometimes fear.
But DON’T PANIC!! There are ways to everyday adulting life AND still have a ball!
In fact, adulting done right means you’ll be able enjoy your life to the max – a concept I’m passionate about and advocate.
15 Adulting tips
There are a few tips I have that will most likely save you time. Most importantly they will save you a lot of heartache and pain.
Here are my Top 15
- Get yourself a tax consultant. Or assessors as they call in Spain. Keep your tax up to date and you’ll sleep better at night. This I promise you.
- Don’t waste your weekends. Learn how to systemize
- Cook on Sundays so you’ve got meals prepped for the weekdays and you’ll be less tempted to reach for fast food
- Drink water. Every day. And lots of it.
- Move your body, move your life but work out with a friend – you’re far more likely to stick to the habit
- Learn to be brutally honest with yourself. It will give you more life and save you more pain than you could imagine.
- Take ownership of situations. No one owes you a thing. When something isn’t working make a plan and find a solution.
- Save and invest – it’ll discipline you to focus on your dreams. What’s more, have a savings and investment plan to make those dreams a reality.
- Make your bed. EVERY day. It’ll start your day right, every day.
- Practice joy. It’s easy to get lost in everything; work, taxes, the daily to-do list, kids etc. Do ONE thing that brings you joy every day.
- Read – even if it’s ONLY one book a year – it’ll make the rest of adulting much easier and will at least make you a more interesting person.
- Budget and stick to it – no explanations needed here.
- Get a professional CV or portfolio done.
- Learn how to put on a condom – safe sex means you won’t be producing anyone else who will need to learn to become an adult.
- Read or learn a new language. It’s one of the few things you’ll do that’ll make you more intelligent.
Keep in touch and let me know how it goes!
