The thing is that if you don’t know what you want, any road will take you there.
The average person makes 35,000 decisions per day.
Whether it’s what to have for dinner, what to wear, who’se call to take, what time to get up, what task to do at work…
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. UNLESS you know what you REALLY want!
For example, the majority of those 35 000 decisions merely become habits when you know what you want. Want to have great mental health? Then the decision of getting up late and starting your day with a Coca-Cola isn’t a decision you’re likely to make.
It’s all about understanding priorities
When you know what your priorities are, it’s easier to make decisions. For example, you want to work in marketing? Well then you’re going to have to study marketing or apply to do an internship in marketing or tailor your CV for roles in marketing.
Take 2 minutes and do the exercise below in a journal of all the things you want or rather what your priorities are.
Ask yourself what really want?
It’s time for a little self-truth.
Sometimes it’s actually difficult to know what you want. And if the above task seems to daunting, then first start with these questions;
What makes me happy?
What do I need?
Who am I jealous of?
It’s a funny thing but often we don’t want to acknowledge what we want because we may feel selfish by doing so. Or we may feel we don’t deserve it. Or perhaps the things we want, we feel like we’re not allowed to have.
I did not like admitting who I was jealous of but when I looked at what I was jealous of two things came to my attention; one was my assumptions about that person’s life and the second was the fact that if I had to own what exactly it is I wanted, I’ve have to do something about it!
Okay Lisa, if you’re jealous of X, why don’t you stop scrolling through social media and do something about it?
When we’re prepared to look at things like our needs and our little pangs of jealousy, they can become an ally on the path forward.
The most important thing in asking yourself what you want is making the time to think about such things!
A is for Accountability
In my last blog, I spoke about Accountability in reference to changing your life. Now’s the time to put that into action. Look at your daily decisions. Are they in line with your priorities?
If not, it’s nothing to judge. It’s merely a point of reference.
For example under my wealth column is having my own home and having a fit healthy body. For me, both of those fall into the wealth category. But actually, I used to waste a lot of money on unnecessary things that weren’t in line with my priorities.
Sometimes you have to have a real hard conversation with yourself to admit certain things. Look at the reality of your life. Are you prepared to do things like;
- work hard?
- shift perspective?
- get out of your comfort zone?
As Mark Manson rightly says “Everything sucks, some of the time.”
So sometimes it’s about finding the thing you don’t mind living with. Will you get sick of your husband, wife, kids, job, or business? YES! You will! But if you apply the 80-20 rule, you’re good to go.
In other words does it suck 20% of the time but bring you 80% joy, or thereabouts you’re good to go!
Be careful what you wish for
Part of being human is always wanting what you can’t have. Often when we finally get something we’ve wanted, it ends up being a shock because perhaps it’s hard work or perhaps it wasn’t what we expected.
Want to be an entrepreneur, be prepared to do some hard yards.
Want to write a book? Be prepared to sit your butt down and write and perhaps even rewrite. This can be heartbreaking. Ask me, I know!
Want to be a ‘Head of…’, be prepared to have to face the challenges of managing a team.
Be prepared to move out your comfort zone.
Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck
I once moved to London in the hope of living my dream career and life.
What actually happened is that I ended up in a challenging role and couldn’t afford to travel much, which was one of my main reasons for moving.
But you know what? Living in London showed me what I didn’t want. It gave me grit and tenacity and helped me learn to trust myself.
I gave myself a deadline to get happy living in London or move. As you probably know I’m now living in Spain and on the verge of launching my novel.
Sometimes you land up in a position simply to realize, hey, I don’t want that and I thought I did! That’s great because now you know what you don’t want!
Remember, sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck!
I”m currently battling with arthritis in my knee. Do I want that? NO! But I know that A) it’s given me time to write which is something I want to do and that B) it’s taking me on a wellness journey so that hopefully I’ll discover something new through the process.