I’m going to start with the truth. Reading this blog is not going to heal your heart. If only it could, I would wish it for you.
But I’m writing this because when my heart was broken I searched endlessly for some advice from someone who could understand.
Firstly I must say that obviously this being a blog, I don’t know your unique circumstances. And secondly I cannot claim to know all levels of heartbreak.
I don’t know what it is to lose a child although I have lost friends. I don’t know what it is to live in a war zone. I don’t know the heartbreak of losing your life partner.
No, the heartbreak I know is that from a relationship you so desperately wanted to work, didn’t. I know the heartbreak of putting your whole heart and soul into something only to have it not to come to fruition. The heartbreak of a dream lost. The heartbreak of not landing that dream job.
Heartbreak means you’re living
The first thing you should know is that this is how it’s supposed to go. Only narcissists and psychopaths don’t feel heartbreak.
Feeling heartbreak means you’ve invested. It means you’ve hoped. It means you were vulnerable.
And that is a beautiful thing. So don’t beat yourself up about what could’ve or should’ve or would’ve been.
Don’t try to fix it
What if you just let your heart be broken? What if you just let it hurt?
Why on earth would you do that? Because the fastest way out is through.
Lie on the couch, cry, watch sad movies or do whatever it is you need to do to feel.
The more you just allow yourself to feel what you feel, the faster it will pass. Don’t force it. Grief has it’s own way and you must let it work it’s deep dark magic.
What is for you is for you – trust in the process
I used to hate when people said to trust in the process because everything will work out.
As they say here in Spain, “Qué será, será“.
This doesn’t mean you just hide yourself away. No, not at all.
Búscate la vida! You go ahead and get a life. Go to work, go out, do the things that make you happy and bring you to life.
By doing that you put yourself in the right lane, so to speak.
In other words, you put yourself in the right energetic lane to attract the right things and the right people.
If it persists, take action
Heartbreak is part of life and part of being human.
But living heartbreak for years, isn’t.
If you can’t seem to find your way through the pain or darkness, you may be in need of a therapist. You may need help to move through what you’re going through.
Asking for help is a sign of maturity and strength, not weakness.
What is the recipe for heartbreak?
Well if you’re familiar with my work, you’ll know I don’t give any magic pills. 7 Principles of Magic yes but magic pills no.
The recipe for heartbreak if there is such a thing;
- First take a handful of self compassion and kindness, throw some over yourself and let it rest.
- Carve time out of your schedule to feel and for healing activities, Me? I write but you could cook, do art, yoga music or something that feeds your soul.
- Know that what is meant for you will be. Read that again.
- Get support and professional help if you need it. And yes it just so happens that my sister is the best therapist there is.
- Move your body – activities like yoga, walking or even swimming in the ocean will help you move through the grieving process.
There is ALWAYS a new beginning
Trust me when I say that there is ALWAYS a new beginning. Always.
Think about things that happened to you five or 10 or 15 years ago, something in your life that you thought you’d never overcome. Except you did!
But you did.
Your life isn’t static because your life, by it’s nature, isn’t static.
You will move through this.
Wounds are like peeling an onion. Sometimes you think you’re done with something but it then boom, it hits you out of nowhere.
BUT there is a part of you who knows what’s going on. He / she knows how to handle this and has got your back.
Not ONLY will you move through what you’re going through but the part of you who knows how to handle this is ready to make changes in the future. So you’re going to come out the other side, wiser and prepared for magical new beginnings.
I’ve been through heartbreak in many forms and this is why I do this work. Because in the end if just one person reads this and it makes a difference in their life, I will be happy.
Be kind. And remember that this too shall pass.
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