Realize Your Dreams, Don’t Chase Them

I do realise that what I'm about to say is contrary to much of the current #LiveYourBestLife social narrative. I also realise that each of us have to follow our own path so listen, or read, to what resonates with you and ditch the rest...

It’s important to persue your dreams but not chase them.

What do I mean?

I mean that everyday you should be taking steps in the direction of your dreams.

But that doesn’t mean compromising

yourself
your health
wellbeing
family
or values

Any dream that compromises those isn’t a dream worth having.

There are a few points I’d like to make and I’ll start off with them, just in case you choose to depart for greener pastures after the second paragraph;

Have dreams in your heart but live for today
Living your best life does NOT mean what social media would have you believe
Focus on habits not outcome
Be human

Okay that’s it. Really.
Okay, let me explain…

I do realise that what I’m about to say is contrary to much of the current #LiveYourBestLife social narrative. I also realise that each of us have to follow our own path so listen, or read, to what resonates with you and ditch the rest.

Have dreams in your heart but live for today

The problem I have with the whole #LiveYourBestLife story is that it’s unrealistic depending on your interpretation. Often the interpretation, if Instagram (and trust me you’d think it by looking at my Insta feed) is anything to go by, is that this means travel, a great body, first class food etc etc. It’s just not realistic and it’s too much bloody pressure; eat perfectly, make money, keep in shape… blah blah blah. Of course we all want those things but I think in the pursuit of them, we miss life.

At least I have in the past and now Living my Best Life means a quick drive to the shops with my dad, coffee with my mates, dinner with my family, going to work, ice cream and a good book. That’s a great life right there. Yes I want many more things but not at the cost of those priceless trasures.

How easy it is to miss the small but big things in persuit of the big but small things.

The thing is, and I was recently chatting to international speaker Dennis Heijn on this recently, as he’s written a piece about luck being as significant a factor in reaching your dreams as hard work is. What I’ve come to realise is that the truth is that I’m not / you’re not in charge of the luck department. Read more on this great piece here.

What is the difference between goals and dreams?

The differences between dreams, goals and a life plan with the caveat that not many of my plans have ever gone according to plan.

A dream is just that; it’s a desire in your heart that may or may not come true due to an array of factors that need to come together in order to make it so.
A goal is something that you can work towards given certain steps you can take.
A life plan is a general plan that you keep to in order to live a life that you can be proud of.

For example my dream is to go to Italy (I lived this dream of going in 2023 with my mom and my sister).

My goal is to cycle a specific race on my bicycle and (part of) my life plan is to retire with enough money to support myself. Of course there’s more but I’ll leave that between me and myself.

How to Achieve a Dream?

In order to achieve a dream you need 3 magical ingredients;

You need to know what you want (so much so that you can see it)
You need habits I.e. that is you need to show up for what you want
A certain amount or luck or what I prefer to call right timing. My good friend Barney always says you cant squeeze the avocado ripe. There’s a certain timing element of dreams coming true.

So let’s talk about habits.

I always love what James Clear says….

What 1 habit if you implemented every day, a year from now would change your life?

Focus on (REALISTIC) Habits

Forget New Year’s resolutions, I always say. Focus on Habits!

I make sure I train at least 4 days a week and try save 10% of my salary each month. Whether the stars align and I can one achieve buy my dad a ticket to a Liverpool game is another story.

“We’re trained to be outcomes driven, but being habit driven is a far greater determiner of success”

What It Means to Pursue a Dream, Not Chase it

I truly think we have more anxiety in society than ever before. The word can be crazy and scary. We live high pressured lives. Do we really need habits that just up the ante? The wise answer I think is not if it’s going to kill us.

I’ve also failed a number of times and honestly if I can spare you the pain then that’ll make me happy. So my friends hold dreams in your hearts but as to the realisation of the dream, well as my dad always says