Everyone wants to succeed. Everyone wants it. But what does it mean? And how do you get there?
If you truly want to succeed you’re going to have to do the work. And I don’t mean hustling. Success can be easy but only after you’ve done the inner work necessary to get there.
I’ve had the above photo on my Facebook profile for the past 12 years. I never knew when I uploaded it that what I was looking for, was success.
What is success?
Success is a million different things to a million different people. That’s why you need to define it for yourself.
I consider myself, for example, to be amongst the richest people in the world but that doesn’t mean I have a ton of money.
What does success mean to you? If you ask my friend who has cancer, she will tell you it’s health. If you ask a guy I know who works, day and night, he will tell you it’s financial freedom.
You have to first define success for yourself before you can be successful.
What is the most important attribute to be successful in life?
When I talk about success, I talk about being happy, healthy and having great relationships. For me, it also means having meaningful work that I feel I’m good at.
What’s the number one skill that’s helped me achieve this?
Resilience? No.
Self-compassion? Also not.
It’s self-awareness.
Self-awareness has helped me to understand what’s really important to me, what matters and what’s going on when I’m triggered emotionally.
This helps me direct my actions, focus my attention and also harness my emotions for the positive instead of the destructive.
9 Things You Have to Know to Succeed
Before writing this I did a little Google search. I watched a video on YouTube that said you need things like get up early, read alot, exercise. Write down your goals, get a mentor, think positively and be resilient.
Those are great pointers but for me, those are life skills rather than the how to succeed.
But I want to start a little before that step because if you don’t know what makes you happy or you don’t know what you want then you can read all the books you want but you won’t be headed in the right direction.
1. Your values?
First, you’ve got to know your values. If you know your values then you’ll know how you want to behave. Your values give you a better understanding of who you are and help you make decisions. When you make decisions aligned with your personal values, you feel like your truest self.
Some of life’s decisions are really about knowing what you value. When there are a ton of options, you can rely on your values to point you in the right direction.
Wondering how to determine your values? Check out this list.
2. What do you really want?
Many people say they want something but then they either don’t act on it or they sabotage themselves. Why is this?
Either they don’t REALLY want, what they say they want. OR they’re afraid of what might happen if they achieve what they want. OR they don’t think they’re worthy of it.
If you want to succeed you’ve got to know what you want. If you don’t you won’t know the right actions to take or you’ll just go with the flow and let life, or anyone else, take you wherever it wants.
3. Your strategy for tough times
We humans are a funny bunch. For the most part, we tend to count on things going according to plan.
We envision the most perfect scenario and tend not to have a coping strategy for tough times.
But as Lana Del Rey says “Sometimes the road gets tough and I don’t know why”.
What’s your go-to strategy?
Mine is two-fold; soul time and exercise. Without those things and the support of my friends and family, I wouldn’t have made it through some really big challenges.
I’m not saying focus on failure, but if you’re on a mission to achieve something, life will throw you a curveball or two. It’s the way she works. Create a strategy or plan for tough times and you’ll be ready to deal when she does.
4. What makes you happy?
Right now, sit down and write down what makes you happy. Do you know?
Here are a few of mine;
Then think about how often you allow yourself to do the things that make you happy.
If you don’t know what makes you happy, sit down and write a list of what makes you UNhappy. It’s a good place to start. You’ll become more aware as you do.
5. How to say no?
No is a full sentence. I learnt this at the tender age of 45. Who knew?!
The joy of adulting is that you don’t have to do what you don’t want. Apart from work, pay your bills, feed your kids and the likes. 😂
But you don’t have to go to events you don’t want to. You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t want to.
Of course, you’ll have to deal with the consequences of your decisions, but if you’re saying no from a place of self-awareness and in line with your values, those consequences aren’t likely to be negative.
6. What are your guiding principles?
How do you want to live? This a combination of what makes you happy, your values and how you live your day-to-day life.
If values are words with meaning e.g. kindness, then a guiding principle is how to act that value.
For example, a value of mine is contribution. This means when I sit down to work, I do it to the best of my ability and to contribute to those around me.
Another is truth and accountability so when I say I’m getting together with someone for a meeting, I show up and I don’t cancel two hours before.
What are your guiding principles? How do they translate into the way you live your life?
7. How to level up
It’s time to level up!
This was a thought I had the first day I bought my motorbike and bailed twice!
I can’t. I’m not capable. I thought later. But you know what, it was just a story!
If you’re going to go somewhere new in your life, you’re going to have to do what you’ve never done.
This involves two aspects;
- Leaving behind past habits that don’t serve you anymore and
- Learning new skills
Most of think we are the way we are and that’s it. But that’s not it. You’re never too old and it’s NEVER too late to learn something new and to level up!
8. What are your issues?
What’s your f-ing problem? Do you know? If not, best you sit down and do some work to discover what your issues are.
Mine? Well, why do you think I’ve spent years writing this blog? Mine are relationships and money mainly. These are also the areas I’ve desperately wanted to succeed.
I’ve worked with therapists of various kinds to uncover my wounds because I know that if I want to improve the quality of my life, this is what it takes.
Am I there? No because there is no destination but I know what triggers me and I know how to manage myself….mostly.
If you want success, especially in your relationships, you need to know what your issues are.
9. How to judge yourself, and the world. Fairly
This is a subject I’m going to write a whole article on but the bottom line is that if you want to be successful, you need to develop your critical thinking and reflection skills.
It’s a little similar to knowing your issues but it’s more about critically reflecting on what’s happening outside of you and how you judge yourself and others. And why.
Want success? Don’t forget
All of this means you’re probably going to have to be brutally honest with yourself.
I’d love to hear your thoughts once you’ve worked through this.
