Table of Contents
This is an uncomfortable piece for me to write but I seem to be wanting to address a bunch of my issues lately, so here goes.
I wanted to talk about levelling up because although I recorded the podcast last year, it’s only recently that I’ve been able to translate those sentiments into actions fully.
First a confession; I feel guilty about everything. EVERY f’ing thing. That I don’t see my parents enough. That I don’t see my friends enough. If I leave work on time… blah blah blah.
But I few weeks ago it dawned on me;
If you keep doing what you do, you keep getting what you get
We all want our lives to change. In some big or small way but then we keep doing the same old thing and expecting a different result.
We want to meet someone. Or we want a healthier body. Or we want our finances to be better. But then we just go along the same old way.
Why?
Because as much as we want change, we fear it.
Let me let you in on one of my issues. I always complain I’m too busy and that I never get to rest. But every time someone asks me to meet up or to go to something, I say yes. I overcommit myself all the damned time because I feel bad and guilty about letting people go.
So I commit myself to things but then I feel resentful. So much so that, every time I overcommitted myself to something I didn’t want to do, I’d get a knot in my stomach.
I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I thought a few weeks ago. And suddenly it was time to change.
What does it mean to level up
If you keep doing what you do, you keep getting what you get.
People complain. I complain. And then we don’t change anything. And what’s worse is that we blame someone else for where we find ourselves.
Levelling up means you’re ready to go to the next level in a specific area of your life. It means that the pain of where you find yourself has become so unbearable that you’re prepared to make the necessary changes needed.
Here’s how.
How to level up
When I first recorded the podcast on How to Level up I stated that there were 3 steps necessary to levelling up;
- Show up! (And keep showing up!)
- Know up! (Put yourself in the know by constantly learning and knowing yourself) and
- No up! Learn when to say No!
But, before you can do this, you need to;
Identify what needs to change. And why?
What needs to change in your life? Do you know? Do you know what you want?
Take a journal and write down what needs to change.
Why does it need to change?
Why hasn’t it changed until now?
Recognise the wound that keeps things in place
We often do change because A) it’s too difficult to do and B) because there’s some wound that keeps the actions in place.
There’s a reason I always feel guilty and I overcommit myself. Without telling you the whole long story that was reserved for my therapist at the time, it’s because I had an affair in my marriage in my twenties. I’ve never forgiven myself for it and it often means without realizing it I don’t feel like I deserve to rest or to prioritize my own needs.
Understanding the wound doesn’t make the whole story magically disappear but it does help you to realize when you’re acting from the wound or not.
Practice being uncomfortable
Adulting is fraught with activities that we have to, not necessarily want to do. So just recently I decided to take a day out for myself. It was glorious!
But first, it was terrible. As I said no after no to invitations to do things, I was wracked with guilt. But I was determined to try something different. And it worked!
I said no to a day full of activities I felt obligated to do and I said yes to what I felt I needed. And I had the most spectacular day.
If you want to be genuinely happy you have to practice being unhappy – or at least very uncomfortable first.
If you know what you want to achieve, what is the discomfort you will need to bear in order to achieve it? Or have a chance to?
Examples of levelling up
There are a million and one ways we humans tend to want to level up. Here are just a few examples. We tend to want one or more of the following;
- To travel
- A new home
- Health and wellbeing
- Career growth
- Financial growth
- A new relationship
- To learn a new skill
- To learn a new language
This means you’re going to need to be vulnerable and probably very uncomfortable and put yourself in new situations.
If you want career growth you may have to study. At the very least you’ll probably have to create a new CV and put yourself out there for interviews.
If you want financial growth, you’ll probably have to stop spending on certain things in order to save or invest. Or if you’re looking to create the body of your dreams, you’re probably going to have to start training and curb some of your poor food habits.
New habits can cause a certain discomfort or even fear because the mind panics. It says something is out of routine. It tries to cling to an old way of being. Don’t worry.
What emotional skills do I need to level up?
My friend Yula Klien gives these 4 steps to managing the emotional rollercoaster of change;
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Feel your feelings
- Shift your perception
- Change your energy
Here’s what she has to say
1. Acknowledge your feelings
You can’t shift something you don’t own. Don’t put on a brave face, be real especially to yourself about what you’re feeling.
2. Feel the feelings
Allow uncomfortable feelings to flow through you without attaching to them so that your energy can move again. Movement is life and stagnanct energy leads to decay.
3. Shift Your Perception
When you feel stuck its because you have a limited view of your situation.
4. Change Your Energy
The quickest, easiest way to move out of overwhelm and unhealthy patterns is to change your energy by creating movement in your body. This can be by exercise or even something as simple as cleaning your home. (Or making your bed I might add).
Remember, you’ve got this
You can change and your life will shift. You’re never too old and it’s never too late.
Leveling up and success is about embracing the discomfort of change and pushing through the fear that holds us back. It’s about identifying what needs to change, understanding the wounds that keep us stuck, and taking deliberate steps to move forward.
Whether it’s learning to say no, showing up consistently, or committing to personal growth, each step you take brings you closer to the life you desire. Remember, change is a process, and it’s okay to feel uncomfortable along the way.
Embrace the journey, trust yourself, and know that you have the power to transform your life. You’ve got this!
